Never enough

 

WANT WORM 

Today, after reading in A Sense of the Mysterious, it seems like I’ve been shortchanged. With so much intelligence in the world, why don’t I have more? For that matter, why don’t I have more physical ability? More creative resources?

I resent that I have been slighted. Is this niggling longing to be more intelligent, more physically capable, more creative wrong? Is this arrogance?

Is this an evil aspect of my nature? That enough is not enough. That limitations are too many.

The tug is toward dislike for myself. As if there are no things to like. I seem to turn a blind eye to what’s good in life, my life.

Is my aggrieved attitude a sign of narcissism? Who am I to question my place in the world?  I don’t want to be a person who doesn’t appreciate my life.  

 

Foggy Morning

 

My foggy backyard this morning

Weather as Inspiration

Remember some of the old novels (and movies) with foggy scenes. Sherlock Holmes comes to mind and Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. And Wuthering Heights. Fog comes across as an obstruction to clarity, not just in the scenery but in the plot. The characters have trouble seeing the problem and so do we.

A most effective use of fog appeared in the closing scene of the movie Casablanca. Who can forget the sense of uncertainty it gave us?

According to AI, fog is loaded with symbolism, e.g. impending doom, isolation, moral ambiguity, hidden truth. With all that luggage, you’d think fog would appear in more general fiction than it does. If fact, fog seems to be fading into the genre of horror.

Of course there are the novels where the plot depends less on characters and more on circumstances brought about by the weather. Many of these stories fall into the genre of dystopian fiction, sometimes post-apocalyptic. If that’s your interest, “Weird Weather” may be a source of inspiration- https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WeirdWeather.

Literary fiction, at least in what I’ve been reading lately, seems to ignore the weather. The characters living through an average plot don’t seem to sweat a lot, nor use umbrellas, or slip on sleet or brush off snow (unless the setting is the tundra).

I’ve finished writing a young adult novel about Calvin, who lives through a winter in 1942. He’s cold much of the time, the fireplace is the only warm spot in his house—a house, by the way, that groans and creaks with the wind.

I am gratified by the changing weather from hot to cold to in-between. And by the changing scenery winter and summer bring. Normal weather reassures us that all is well with the world. Catastrophic events come along to remind us of how much the weather means.

 

the cold gaze of nature

 FULL MOON in CAROLINA

View from my patio last night

 The moon is earth's only relative in a universe that is so full of stars but so lonely.

I've highlighted the monthly full moons on my 2026 calendar to remind me to get outside and look at the sky. It's like taking a breath of frigid air to regard the moon's full glow.  And it raises the timeless questions: where am I and what am I doing here?

If there's something that's eternal, its unanswerable questions. Nonetheless, I'm in pursuit of just those answers in my writing. I have to wonder what that says about myself.

Words vs Numbers

 A LOOK AT WORDS AND NUMBERS

I suppose most writers are fascinated by words, as I am. Recently in a poem I wrote, I take the position that everything that exists  (whether physical, mental, emotional) has a word. In essence, you can’t think of something (much less write about it) if there’s no word for it. My hope is that readers will realize this premise is questionable. And as an aside, is it possible that language limits our imagination?

IS THERE A DIFFERENCE?

We communicate not just with words, but with numbers. I’ve told my sons to think of numbers as a different language. Some people hold that we developed numbers just as we developed words in a language. There are other people who will argue that there’s a difference. Numbers are not invented, they’re discovered.

ALL THINGS ARE NUMBER

So said Pythagoras. That is to say, the physical world, everything you can see, smell, taste, feel, or think is quantifiable. And with the discovery, or maybe it’s the invention, of calculus, even relationships and movement can be communicated with numbers.

UNIVERSALITY OF NUMBERS

Now that I’m into numbers over my head, I’ll back out by saying that math was my worst subject in school. Nonetheless, our fascination with numbers and our dependence on them has never been greater. Seems we’re on our way to proving Pythagoras correct.

DATA ADDICTS

For the entertainment of mathematicaphiles, The Week magazine provides a column titled “The Bottom Line.” The shear amount of data collection and analysis is mind-boggling. Numbers relay meanings and can affect our opinions, maybe even change our mind. Several random samples from The Week:

25% of unemployed persons are age 25 and over

64% of Spotify’s most popular podcasts in 2024 were men

The average commuter spends a record 63 hours a year stuck in traffic

Consumers plan to spend an average of $890/person on holiday gifts, food, etc. 

 A book titled Book of Unusual Knowledge, a Christmas gift, states that it took about 30 million hours for Stone Age workers to build Stonehenge. Who figured that out and how?

 

SCIENTIFIC EVIDENCE?

Now I’m getting around to another point.  More and more research and/or scientific findings depend on data collection and not infrequently on polls taken of participants.

ARE THESE FACTS OR DATA DRIBBLE?

From The Times (UK) researchers analyzed data from 86,00 adults across 27 countries to find that learning a second language may help slow aging. (As if the only variable in 86,000 people is the number of languages they speak.)

Ultra-processed foods made up 55% of the food Americans ate from 2021 to 2023 according to the Centers for Disease Control. (What’s the definition of ultra-processed food?)

Researchers at the Univ. of British Columbia discovered that people are happier doing activities when sharing with others. Some 41,000 participants were quizzed on how happy they were doing three activities. (How happy? How reliable is a person’s opinion of their own happiness? And what if they’re asked on a bad day?)

 

the SC State Fair

 

 A TRADITION TO HOLD ONTO

 

Doug and I made our annual trip to the SC State Fair last night. I enjoy the neon lights that make me feel like I’m in fairy land. The rides are fun for me but Doug isn’t a good carnival rider, so we took a pass on most of them, except for the gondola that rolls above the fairground.

 

This is Doug sitting beside me in the gondola carriage and gripping the handle bars. He’s smiling for the camera but he’s shivering inside. He’s afraid of heights and is subject to motion sickness. 

Doug, hanging on for dear life

 

 

The panorama view is exciting with lights. In the photo below you can see the overhead view of the fairground with the carriage passing ours as we go in opposite directions.

Food vendors take up a portion of the space with everything you’d expect, most of it heart-attack foods, things like elephant ears, cotton candy, nachos, fried cheesecake, corn dogs, and shis kabobs. My favorite eats are hot dogs and french fries. Doug bought french fries we shared.

Some booths had long lines, but this one didn't

 

I had to get a photo of myself with a person (man) dressed in a metal suit with metal mask and hat. He was so completely covered  I couldn’t see his eyes. Hope he was getting paid plenty cause that costume had to be heavy, not to mention uncomfortable, and threaten a heat stroke.

How does he breathe with his nose covered?

 

 A state fair or a circus is often used as the setting for mysteries, and with good reason. Everything is loosey-goosey there. A criminal could easily commit a crime and disappear in a place like this.  

lexicology

 

"Much Oblige"

 

My husband never heard the expression “much oblige,” which came as a surprise to me. However, when I thought about it, I haven’t heard that in ages. It was common in my childhood. If a neighbor gave you a ride, you didn’t say “thank you,” you said “much oblige.” 

 

Actually, the term has more of a masculine than feminine connotation. Expressing gratitude applies to situations where some unexpected charity is involved. In the rural area where I grew up, more generosity was expected of rural women than men, so thereby the less occasion for a woman to say “much oblige.” For example, my Aunt Myrth baked many a birthday cake for us and if anybody ever thanked her, I didn’t hear it. Her cakes weren’t unusual or unexpected. If she didn’t bake a cake, we thought nothing of that either.

 

If we ever said “thank you” in my home when I was growing up, I don’t remember it. When a family member went out of their way to help another, we didn’t thank them. It wasn’t anything special that required acknowledging. If a brother or aunt needed help planting tomatoes, we gave them help because that’s what you did in a family. Nobody expected them to say “thank you.” 

 

I’ve learned to say “thank you” from my husband, who finds it strange that my brother doesn’t thank us when we run errands for him. He’s of the old school who expects favors from us, his family. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t appreciate what we do for him. If we asked him for assistance, he would provide it, without expecting a “thank you.”

Disturbing Study Regarding Plastic

Kitchen items sent to the recycle bin

 

Plastic Brain

I’m getting rid of plastics that come into contact with my food and drinks. Maybe it’s already too late to save me from dementia or whatever damage plastics bring about, but I’ll do what I can. Scientists at the Univ. of New Mexico say that in the last 8 years the concentration of microplastics in our brains has risen 50 percent. They studied brain specimens from autopsies to reach this conclusion. 

 

There may not be much I can do to filter out plastics in my environment, but I can control what’s in my house. Seems logical that plastics used to prepare food have a high probability of flaking off particles that end up in my body. In the process of eliminating plastics from my kitchen, I’ve tossed into the recycle bin mixing bowls, spatulas, straws, measuring cups & spoons, pastry brush, colander, and funnel. I’ve bought stainless steel replacements.

 

In the grocery store, I look for soft drinks in cans and dairy products in paper cartons. 

 

My husband refuses to give up our coffee maker that produces coffee using a plastic pod. I’m hoping to get rid of it for an old fashioned perking coffee maker. 

 

Plastics are everywhere and the best solution may be to move to a wilderness, avoid contact with cities, grow vegetables, hunt, and fish for food. But I’m no hunter or farmer. Besides that, giving up city life is tantamount to giving up.

 

More than myself, I worry about my kids and grandkids when I read of research that finds that “the growing amount of nanoplastics in our brain as “alarmingly high” and “appears to be growing over time.” 

 

https://hscnews.unm.edu/news/hsc-newsroom-post-microplastics-human-brains

 

*Afterthought -- As I was brushing my teeth this morning with a plastic toothbrush, I imagined flakes of microplastics going into my mouth, into my stomach, my brain. What have I been thinking? Why would I scrub my mouth with something so fragile as plastic bristles? Found plant-based brushes online and ordered them. And to my surprise, I found plant-based dental floss picks.  

 

A gift like none other

 LITERARY AND VERY PERSONAL

My daughter-in-law Cindy gave her son (my grandson Frank) a unique gift for his 18^th birthday. In fact, only a limited number of these gifts exist. She researched Frank's ancestors, recorded the data, formatted photos and text, and printed a 50-page book that provides the names and dates of Frank’s male relatives and ancestors, living and dead. The title is “the Book of boys,” and in the case of Cindy’s family, it traces Frank’s ancestors back six generations.

The title is behind a cut-out

It's remarkable that four Civil War veterans appear in the pages, my ancestor John Gantt who lost an arm in the battle of the crater at Petersburg, VA; Jake Shumpert who was wounded at Gettysburg; Austin Stanard who fought with the 75^th Illinois Corps; and Lorenzo Myers who was Captain of the 64th Ohio Infantry. 

Sixth generation

The birth locations of Frank’s closest male relatives are Ohio and Illinois. But going back generations, they’ve come from South Carolina, Pennsylvania, Kentucky, Missouri, and New York. 

Frank's paternal great-great grandfathers

Cindy has inherited from her father a love of genealogy. It’s obvious from this book that she spent hours on family history research, not to mention formatting the book. She’s a graphic designer, so that explains a lot. However it takes a devoted mother to turn a hobby into something that will be a family keepsake.

 

relationships shift with politics

 

POLITICS AND FRIENDSHIP

I have a fundamentalist Christian friend who is an avid Trump supporter. Our relationship has survived for years, in part because we don’t discuss religion. She doesn’t proselytize, which I appreciate, and I don’t care about religion as long as people treat one another with respect. 

 

Recent politics has brought some uncongenial moments. For instance, if I make a comment about changes in our American situation, such as “I wonder what the Rawls Farm will do for field workers,” my friend comes back with a strident rebuttal about immigrants followed by “if you’d read the news you’d know.” We’ve come to the point that we’re too passionate about our opposing views to even touch on something political. 

 

After several comments about my lack of knowledge, which I’ve tried to ignore, our conversations have come to be limited to old times and mutual friends. 

 

At the end of the day and the reason for my writing this is—why is my friend so aggressive in her Trump support and why does she denigrated me, her friend, for having a different opinion? Her view of religion has always been unlike mine, but she hasn’t smiled at me and suggested I’m stupid for holding a different view. It seems that politics has surpassed religion as the most important thing in her life.

 

Such intolerance harkens back to history and a god-like acceptance of authoritarian rulers. History is full of examples as to where this leads.

 

London Tour

 

 

 

SHAKESPEARE LOST

 

Last week, while in London I went on a Shakespeare & Charles Dickens guided tour. Our guide was an actor who was knowledgeable about these literary giants. She referenced numerous characters from plays and novels. At stops along the way she recited passages from the works of Shakespeare and Dickens (dramatically, more Shakespeare than Dickens)— I felt stupid...I couldn’t identify the plays or novels being quoted. Do you know which Shakespeare plays list twins in the cast of characters?

As the tour progressed I noticed that the glass and steel buildings where we strolled had little to do with either Shakespeare or Dickens. At those places where we stopped for commentary (with dramatic quotes), we saw nary a building or garden or otherwise that related to the two writers.

Correction: there was a plaque on a wall at one stop with the notice that Shakespeare had lived in a house that no longer existed at a location somewhere nearby. The tour guide said that even the street no longer existed.

I gathered from this tour that no actual artifacts, such as rented rooms, homes, or pubs from the time of Shakespeare and Dickens, are left in London City.

That’s not to say the writers aren’t honored, well, at least Shakespeare. You can take in one of his plays at the Globe Theater, a copy of which has been built on the south bank of the River Thames.

Too bad, but London isn’t the place to find memories of Shakespeare or Dickens.

 

Iceland

 

Shops snag tourists like me.

COOLING OFF IN ICELAND

 

A vacation in Iceland is worth the mortgage you’ll need to pay for it. The landscape of lava fields with tails of steam escaping from the ground will give you an idea what it’s like to be on another planet.

 

I was in Reykjavik last Saturday for the annual Culture Night, though it’s actually a Culture Day and Night. In the morning, my husband Doug ran the half-marathon and son Jason ran the full marathon—nice weather but the previous day was 45 degrees and rainy with winds up to 45 mph. 

Doug, Jason, and me after race

This was my second visit to the Reykjavik Art Museum, and I’d love to see what they’ll do next time I’m there. On this visit I experienced a black-out room with sounds and suggestive lights, the art of Jonsi. On a previous visit, I was puzzled by a brush pile on a gym-like floor until, by watching it, I discovered it was moving very slowly. Some people may question whether this is art, and the approach is unusual, but can’t art be an experience that makes you conscious of your own perceptions?

Dried fish heads at the Maritime Museum

 Our reservations at the Blue Lagoon (a geothermal pool) were cancelled due to the nearby eruption of a volcano, so we went to the Sky Lagoon, which is less well known but even more interesting. The abundance of underwater springs of hot water provides most of Iceland’s energy needs. 

 

If you're interested in architecture, Harpa is where you'll find an innovative construction.

Sister Nila and Jason at Harpa

Before returning to 90 degree weather in SC, we visited Snaefellsjokull National Park. Remote living exists here.

So do mountains, streams, waterfalls, and lava caves; much coastline with black beaches. However, there are no trees.

Doug at a black beach

We visited a black beach that was littered with wrecked metal that had washed ashore from boats that sank. 

 

The few trees you'll see are beautiful even if the leaves seem to be shivering in the cold air.

Note to my readers - the different fonts you'll see here are presents from Google, not by my choice.

 

Two Enduring Movies

 MY LIFE AS A DOG

 

“My Life as a Dog” just became one of my favorite movies. Since Doug hadn’t seen it, I couldn’t wait to watch it a second time with him for a double-dose of enjoyment. It is currently streaming on Prime. 

 

My Life as a Dog is in the Criterion Collection

Doug was restless and could hardly make it to the concluding credits. What is to me a realistic movie that captures the strength and creativity of a youth in calamitous circumstances was to Doug a melancholy movie about a boy with no home. It made him sad.

 

“My Life as a Dog” inspired me and reminded me that genius filmmakers exist (or have existed), though you might not think so, given the usual pablum showing at Columbiana. This is a Swedish movie released in 1987. Some things never grow old.

 

Another movie about a boy that makes no notice of the passing of time is “Empire of the Sun,” as meaningful today as when it was made in 1984. It also has sadness, but this underscores a boy’s courage and endurance in the face of everyday disasters.

 

The spirit of these two protagonists is meaningful today. Rather than become victims of harrowing circumstances beyond their control, Ingemar (in My Life as a Dog) and Jamie (in Empire of the Sun) tackle the circumstances of their life as best they can and never lose hope.

 

Pelion High School Alumni

 PHS Alumni & 2024 Scholarship 

Friday at the Pelion High School Awards Program I presented the Alumni Scholarship to Senior Dylan Wright, who has an outstanding school record. He’s planning to go to USC and become a teacher of music education. His smile on approaching the podium so pleased me I almost forgot to give the certificate to him.

 

The PHS Alumni Association has been around since 1996. There were times when we met at the Pelion Community Center. In the photo are supporters, some names I don’t remember. Back row are Joe Dean Craft, Stella Eargle, Rev. Redmond, Farroll Gunter, Miriam Poole, Carolyn Wise. Those sitting were from Swansea and attended many of our meetings.

Alumni meeting at Pelion Community Center

We held rummage sales to raise money for the scholarship, which is also funded by donations from alumni.  Miriam Poole helped at a sale we held at the crossroads in 2003.

 

Miriam Poole at rummage sale

The Alumni Scholarship is in honor of three Pelion educators who inspired generations of students. Principal Roy Nichols, Teacher/Principal Ruth Nichols, and math teacher Ruth Gunter. 

Ruth and Roy Nichols

Ruth Gunter

We organized several reunions. These photos are from the 2002 reunion, which was held at the school. Too many names to try to list them all, but maybe you’ll recognize some of them.

Class of 1956

 

Class of 1959

 

London Visit

TIME WITH OUR OLDEST SON

Just getting around to thinking about our trip to visit Jason & family in London. We arrived on granddaughter Milla's birthday and returned to the States Dec. 11.

Milla celebrated her 15th birthday.

Jason, Milla, and Doug went to a tree lot and brought home a tree. We all helped decorate it. Ellen prepared our Christmas dinner and she is a great cook. When we arrived, she had cooked a poppyseed cake and a chocolate bundt, yum!

With Lola in the living room.

Mince pies are a big thing in London. Individual pies are sold in packets of six. Somebody bought two different brands, one expensive and one cheap. We had a pie tasting contest to see which was the better flavor. The results were pretty much split, but I picked the cheap mince pie.

 

WASSAIL, OH YEAH!

We walked up Church Street to look at Christmas decorations and stopped for a cup of wassail at an Irish pub. Nothing is better than wassail when you’re outside on a cold day. It’s a spiced red wine served warm. A cup of that and you won’t feel cold, even if it’s 20 degrees. By the way, degrees are in Celsius in Europe, which means you have to convert to Fahrenheit to get an American reading.

 

All of us love fish and chips from Sutton and Sons. The English crew ordered a side of mushy peas but Doug and I haven’t become that English yet.

Fish and Chips restaurant near Jason's.

Jason reserved seats to see “Hamilton” at the Victoria Palace theater. Some people would think the disjunction of an 18^th Century story paired with 21^st Century music would be in some way dishonest. For five minutes, I had my doubts about it working, but 15 minutes in, the music won me over. A talented cast. 

At Victoria Theater.

Jason and Ellen hardly ever use their car. While we were there, it was convenient to get around on either the bus or the tube.

Ellen, me and Jason on the tube.

Doug and I went to Brussels for several days to visit friends. While there, we drove to Waterloo where a huge mound with a lion on top commemorates Napoleon’s defeat.

The lion is barely visible above the Panorama.

Jason's recent kitchen renovations expands the space for a table. We spent lots of time there. 

The glass doors to the garden are new.

Time to go home, and it was sad to say goodbye.